When you and your partner are having difficulty, you may ask yourself, “How much do I matter to my partner? Will they be there for me when the going gets rough? Can I really be myself with this person?” You may experience fears and worries during your conflicts or arguments that the emotional bond and security of the relationship is not solid. Your fears and worries may make you feel isolated and alone, or as if you are fighting for survival itself. These reactions can cause the negative cycle to continue.

Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy (EFT) focuses on the emotional bond between partners, as most problems in relationships arise from disruptions in this bond. In therapy, partners can learn to be more open and trusting with each other and to reach out to each other effectively. The EFT approach was developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and her colleagues, and refined in recent years through research on adult love, attachment and bonding. Research has shown that with EFT, approximately 90% of couples show significant improvement and 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery.

Couples sessions are usually 60 minutes in length and scheduled once weekly, unless we agree otherwise. I usually meet with the couple together, unless we agree it is useful to have 1 individual session for an attachment history assessment near the start of treatment. It is hard to say how long each couple will benefit from couples therapy, but generally the typical duration is weekly to bi-weekly for 6-12 months.

Premarital therapy

I enjoy working with couples who are embarking on a journey towards greater commitment, including marriage. I strongly believe it is beneficial for most couples to have facilitated conversations before getting married or at other times in the relationship, Issues that can present challenges in any committed relationship include work, parenting, children, family relationships, step-families, sexuality, spirituality, lifestyle and multicultural issues. I may use the PREPARE/ENRICH relationship inventory and skill building program, which can be custom tailored to your relationship and can provide exercises to improve relationship skills. Facilitating crucial conversations in a proactive sense is very meaningful to me, as well as helping couples sort out their differences once they arise.

Commitment Decisions and Discernment Counseling

I also work with couples to assist them in discerning whether to make a greater commitment to stay together, get married or have children, as well as to help individuals or couples decide whether to move on from the relationship or divorce. I value being able to walk with people during these difficult and important decisions. I am also a trained mediator, so I have experience and interest in facilitating effective and meaningful conversations around divorce, co-parenting and “uncoupling.” I also provide Discernment Counseling for couples on the brink of divorce.

Issues I work with:

Closure counseling and Divorce recovery

Pre-engagement, Pre-marital therapy

Couple therapy

Discernment counseling

Infidelity and Affair Recovery

Sexual and physical intimacy issues

Step families

Mixed neurotype couples

Parenting and co-parenting

Extended family issues

Cultural differences

Support around mental health challenges

Communication issues

Relationship commitment